Monday, November 7, 2016

Review of "Don't Fuck in the Woods" (2016)



When I first got the screener of “Don’t Fuck in the Woods”, I had only a day before been dumped by the love of my life. I was worried that watching a bunch of fun-loving couples get horny and freak on each other beside the campfire for an hour and a half would be too depressing for my broken heart.

Luckily, just as that little bit of sadness started creeping in while the first horny couple fumbled out of their clothes – and I started to think, “Oh God, I miss her… if only we had one more night together… one romantic night in the woods… [choke, sob]… one more night to prove — Oh Snap!” Disembowelment mid-coitus!

Seeing these couples getting slaughtered in the midst of passion was actually lifting my spirits. “Maybe,” I thought, “just maybe my ex and her new lover will be massacred before he gets a chance to make her cum, too.” A man can hope – and that is the mark of a good film – it gives the watcher a sense of fulfillment. In that regard, “Don’t Fuck in the Woods” is a smashing success.
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